JON RAFMAN
SHADOWBANNED (2018)

I don’t know why I’m writing you.

I don’t even care if you read this.

I don’t think of you anymore.

But still, for some reason, there is something to say.

This is not a story. There are no more stories.

Everything is in constant flux.

A door I open today will not be there tomorrow.

Things dissolve into the background at a greater and greater speed,

but I don’t spend any energy.

I am sucked forward by a vacuum that endlessly forms in front of me.

Everything exists forever. Nothing lasts. Nothing dies.

Things can only be abandoned or forgotten.

I don’t need to, but I keep on going.

I don’t even remember how long it’s been. I’ve lost track.

I try to protect myself with memories of an artificial past.

A fog of cold energy hangs over everything.

Here, in the garden, I can no longer even dream of my own end.

The radiation from the screen is hurting my eyes.

I love it.

Life, as I knew it, has ended.

But I am still trying to understand what has replaced it.

The final act of horror was that the memory of the horror itself was erased.

I don’t know why I’m writing you.

I don’t even care if you read this.

But still, for some reason, there is something to say.

This is not a story. There are no more stories.

𓀡